A tsp of Sugar, A tsp of Spice, A Dash of Everything Nice, And Several Heaping Cupfuls of Pain from Chronic Illnesses...That's What Dana Is Made of!!!

Well.... It is OFFICIAL! The topic and Date (August 11) has been set for the very FIRST GRACEFUL AGONY BLOG CARNIVAL!! The Topic for the FIRST ROUND was left up to a vote, and almost 50% of the votes went to "Let me introduce myself"... This seems like a good place to start... and is quite a generic topic, so please run with it however you'd like to... Get creative!! What brought you to Graceful Agony in the first place? What is something that nobody in our group knows about you yet? What makes YOU tick? WHO ARE YOU???? 

OK, so the title starts out kinda nice, and then you may think to yourself that it turns out to be a pretty scary title, which could make me a person you're not sure you'd want to meet. Well, I'll make it clear for you right now...You definitely want to meet me!  No, I'm not conceited at all so please don't get the wrong idea. I'm here on this planet for one reason only; I'm on a mission to unite all people with chronic diseases and chronic pain together as one force and to spread the word to those who do not have a chronic disease or chronic pain to understand what we go through day in and day out, and in my case, night in and night out!!!!

I am very purpose-driven, and if I'm not, then it's very hard for me to get up in the morning, (although I may still not always get out of bed on bad days, or semi-good-semi-bad days--depends on how you look at it). It isn't always about the pain, sometimes the fatigue is so overwhelming that it takes so much energy to use the restroom, that taking a shower, brushing my teeth and hair, putting on make-up, getting dressed, making breakfast, and then actually leaving my home, would deplete all of my energy stores! It's hard to comprehend this if you don't deal with this daily.

So why am I who I am? Good question...I could just say that I don't know, have no idea, just am, but for one that would be boring, secondly, that just wouldn't make for good writing for a blogger, and third and finally, it isn't true! I know why I am who I am. It took my getting really sick to figure it out, but now I know. It's too late to fix it, but I can use what I know about myself to help others and to continue to help myself...OK, I know stop blabbing and get on with it!

I was always a very spiritual person, and for a small portion of my life I was actually very religious. What I mean is that as a Catholic female, there was a very short time that I felt drawn to the religion vocationally. I thought I wanted to be a Catholic Sister--yes, a nun!  I knew there was a spiritual pull at a very early age which was hard for me to fully understand. I was only 10 years old when this thought entered my head, and the only thing I could think of to live a life for God as a Catholic female was to be a nun. I didn't realize that you could live a life FOR GOD and not devote your life to a religious "organization" to do so. I didn't really come to terms back then with my spirituality. I didn't understand that spirituality was something that you needed to find internally in order to meet God there and then reverse the spirituality outward toward others, all the while, touching others with God as well. Who knew?  Well, not me obviously. I probably didn't fully understand this until my 20's and 30's when my chronic pain and illnesses got the better of me. Although, I always had some kind of struggle with pain and illness in my life, it wasn't really until my 20's and 30's that I really had to step back, then step inside myself, find myself to find God.  Wow, that is some really deep stuff!

That is when I started questioning my Catholic teachings, which you can learn more about in another blog devoted to My Path of Self Discovery.  I still go to a Catholic Church on Sundays and on Holidays, and I want to raise my children in the Catholic faith, but I believe that there is a reason that there are so many different religions out there. There is a consistency in them: there is a belief in a God, love others, treat others like you want to be treated, and if you live a good life you will end up in Heaven, on the Other Side, etc.  So I don't think it really matters what religion you follow, the doctrine, etc. I believe that your spirituality is what's important because that is your connection to yourself, to your God, and to nature and others! That is what really matters. I think having an organized religion, for me, has one important aspect in life though; it gives order and a place of community for common believers.  However, these "common" believers should be able to have their own separate beliefs that differ from their Church's beliefs too ( unless of course they differ so much that they are immoral and unethical, then that is just completely not what I'm trying to say here at all!).

So, I hope this helps you to understand a little more about me. My spirituality, my relationship with God, defines me. It is what I base my relationships on, and how I look at the world, our world--nature; the animals, the trees, the wind, the rain, the sunshine, etc.  I have so much to be thankful for...

So how can someone with the amount of pain that I endure every single day of my life be thankful? How can I think of anything or anyone but myself?  How am I not mad at God?...

I can't lie; there are days that pain takes over every moment, but there will always be someone worse off than I am.  I am thankful for days that I can get out of bed. I am thankful when I can get on the computer and see all my facebook friends and friends from other social networks who can understand what I'm going through. I am thankful that there is always something that I can look forward to. Right now, we are adopting a baby! What is bigger than that!?!  The world is bigger than me!  Yes, I said it! The world is bigger than me! Sometimes when I start to get centered on myself, I have to say that, the world is bigger than me! To some, this may seem silly, but it knocks me down, and helps me to realize that it isn't all about me. I am not my own world. I am a small part of this huge, beautiful world!!! Of course, although I am just a small part, I can still be a great big voice! And I like to think that this little bitty blog is my great big voice! And yes, I do get mad at God! God to me is my Father God, my Mother God, my Friend. As my Friend, I sometimes yell at Him. I will sometimes say that I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Why does He allow this to happen to me? After I vent, then I go to Mother God, and I ask Her to just hold me because I'm so upset with the way things have been. Life is so depressing. Then I go to Father God, and I ask for His forgiveness!!! I think He wants us to do that! He wants to be our Father, Mother, and Friend!

I have always been the person to take on every one's problems and pain. I would hold onto their pain in hopes that they wouldn't feel the pain anymore. I never knew that this was hurting me in the process! Please take it from me, do not take on other people's pain and problems! You can help them out and support them, but you can damage your own body by taking on too much.

Yep, this is another thing you may not have known about me! I am a medical intuitive and energy healer! It took me years to understand it. I just recently started doing free remote energy healings for my fb and other social network friends. I'm thinking about starting an energy healing Blog Talk Radio show. Once I get enough followers that know who I am and what I can do to help them, I can start a practice here in Atlanta, where I can see clients in person, and get paid real money. Until then, if you are in need of a healing, send me a message with the date and time you would like the healing, and if you are lying down or sitting. I would love to be able to help.

So I hope these are some things that you hadn't known about me already, and I hope I haven't scared you away. It's a lot to take in! But, I'm Me. My hubby likes to just say he was drawn to me because I was eccentric. Wow, he didn't know the half of it.  Now he has to deal with energy and dreams and the paranormal and metaphysical world that I live in, which is only just part of my world; the other part is much bigger--CHRONIC PAIN AND CHRONIC ILLNESS!